whats a polygalesbian?
lesbian polygamists..duh.
I wish I had my old roomstes number so I could send him pictures from lastnight... I had a blast banging his "true love" now that I think about it we're even don't worry about that gas bill you didn't pay. Ur girl worked it off!
me texting you is like we have secret walkie talkies.
Just because your phone has a case on it doesn't mean it will survive a 5 story drop out the window.
She's yelling about threesomes and realllly wants you to come over. Put the pieces together.
I was greeting people at my door feeding them jello shots out of an ice cube tray with a spoon.
Ever find yourself wondering if your life is God's way of telling a joke?
just used my sex toy cleaning solution to clean my reading glasses. midterms are cramping my styleeee
Hate sex is good. Drunk sex is better. Combine those two however and you get the best experience of your LIFE.
That boy needs some memories to take back home with him
You kept running up to married couples, taking their pictures and begging for them not to get divorced
I can't believe he just friend zoned me like that.
Dude, you're not even gay.
a guy offered me a piece of pizza if I'd make out with a random girl. We got the whole damn box and I ain't even mad
I was struggling morally, but once I let go, I came pretty hard.
I would say don't do anything I wouldn't do, but we both know I forget about my personal safely when getting laid is on the line
Randomize
