i just renamed my vag "the sorting hat"
I feel uncomfortable when she gargles my jizz.
Well we ran into the cornfields when the cops got there. We'd been hiding in there for 45 mins when he asks me "So this wasn't exactly how I'd planned this but I thought I'd ask. How do you feel about oral sex?"
I now realize that they made gum to take the taste of dick out of your mouth.
I woke up from my nap, looked out my window, and saw about bout 6 people get tasered in less than 20 seconds.....could someone please tell me what's going on.
His parents had a bottle of captain morgan on the table for me when I went for dinner. I feel accepted
Your doorknob is in my back seat, in case you were looking for it.
Take advantage man but know that every anal bead u drop inside her will make her love u 2% more. It's science
Dude she flew me 1000 miles down to see her, broke up with me 7 hrs after arrival, and kicked me out with a week left til I fly home. Thank god college taught me how to shack up
Quick!! What's a good reason for me to have rug burn on my chin?
Do you remember doing synchronized hip thrusts to Michael Jackson? Probably one of my favorite parts of the night
All is fair in love and war and toga parties
It was hands down the most magical fuck I've ever had
It was the only fuck you've ever had..
At least he uses his lack of impulse control for chaotic good instead of chaotic evil
Sorry. I was preoccupied thinking about penises
Randomize
