i think i've said "don't judge me" 10+ times tonight... is that a bad thing?
yes
... don't judge me
Just saw the new iPhone. I would totally let Steve Jobs and Jon Ive eiffel tower me right now.
I think its only fitting my first purchase with my student loan is a glass pipe? I think ill name it 'Subsidized'
I just spewed blue gatorade in the shower. It looked like the ocean.
I've created a drink called, "watching the sound of music with grandma." its straight vodka
You're making her cookies in enchange for knitting lessons. You will die a virgin.
I actually cannot wait for your visit. I miss people who make me look like the virgin mary in comparison.
Actually it's really just going to be me drunk in your living room swinging from a pole on a tuesday morning.
Less than a month to graduation and I'm still blacking out on the reg tonguing down the closest breathing organism preferably with a penis but I'm flexible, and still havent figured out how to be functional on Fridays. WHY don't they teach us valuable shit at this institution!?
In the middle of blowing him I looked at him and said "Your so old..." and then continued. I need to stop drinking.
i think ive reached a prime reproductive point in my life or somethin- i see gingers and all i want to do is have their babies. like my body knows that i have a to carry on a legacy
I just started talking about how noodles were so good
How do you politely tell someone to get out of your house in Russian
My ex is stopping by while he’s working tonight after delivering a pizza to fuck me, then going back to work at Pizza Hut. This is what my life has become.
Just learned a very valuable life lesson. Never motorboat a cat when they have claws.
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