No, I'm never going to get a job bc I don't know anything about public relations except that Chris Crocker wants everyone to leave Britney alone.
OMFG BINX FROM HOCUS POCUS IS MCGEE IN NCIS!!!!!!!! most. epic. realization. ever.
I FOUND THE PROF I'M GOING TO FUCKKKK.
I am not kidding you. There is an airport luggage cart overturned in my driveway. We need to stop going to the airport bar.
You skyped me last night to show me the girl passed out on your bed.
She gave me head because I gave her my pack of cigarettes...And you said quitting would be hard.
She fuckin peed on me
Stay golden ponyboy
Just realized Ive had sex in or around each thing listed in Green Eggs and Ham besides the fox.
Oddly enough I feel totally fine now. Clonazapam and red bull the breakfast of champions.
The fact that you walked around talking like Barbie and still got laid amazes me.
i can't hookup with him because someone else bit my vagina
Fuck you. All I remember from last night is telling random people that I'm in a "judgement free zone" then I threw up
I'm sorry for chipping my tooth on your vagina last night :(
He's so drunk that he's ignoring me and just doing what my cat does.
Oh god he's trying to eat cat food... I don't know if I should stop him or continue laughing....
I am going to constantly be reminded of you for the next couple of days because of how sore my vagina is. It's just the price I have to pay.
Randomize
