i'm forgoing the post-coitus cuddling sesh to ask u this :when he says he loves me and all i can think to say is either "cool" or "i love boning you," what do i do?
clay aiken is like melissa ehteridge without the guitar.
you came back at 4am in a suit jacket and a half eaten burrito...
he made a joke about you fucking his daughter...i think youre golden
I'm now at that point where it just feels natural to do a few shots of whisky with breakfast and then head to work
Now accepting hypotheses about how i managed to get a bruise between my boobs....
Just walked in on my older brother getting a bj. He told the girl to "keep going" and then attempted to high five me
Don't blame me for eating all the ham.. I gave it out to people, so at most I'm guilty of ham distribution
We're in the emergency room. He concussed himself trying to pop all the bubbles on my "one bubble a day" wall calender with his face.
I'm pretty sure the bus driver knew how hung over I was and hit all the pot holes on purpose. I threw up into my water bottle.
I told my grandmother all I want is a nice guy who likes to be tied up.
I almost took a picture but it looked like he might have a shank and I'm just not at a place in my life where I could handle having tetanus
well I've taken an Uber to my weed dealers twice in the past 2 weeks so it's going well since I sold my car
The closest I'll come to committing is leaving sex toys at their house
She took me into the bathroom and force fed me a panini, it was pretty good.
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