i just realized i've been trying to levitate the potatoe chip out of her hand for the past ten minutes. i think i smoked to much.
I may have been hammered and in a wheelchair but I definitely remember asking the hospital reseptionist to marry me
I dont know, my roommate got arrested but I'm gunna get some tacos no matter what
All I remember is that the bartender wouldn't give me scissors cuz I was too drunk
Thanks man, but unless some hot chick comes in to work with a case of beer and offers me a head job, I'm pretty much screwed for New Years
Maybe I'm a robot.
You can't be that drunk already
Sometimes crazy just comes naturally. I don't need booze to say that on occasion I feel the need to rip off my asshole and throw it against the fridge to see if it sticks.
He is dust bro dust in the wind I waited in this unlocked car long enough.
My saliva right now is around 7.6% alcohol/volume.
Drove by a guy getting road head, midday on O Street. That could be us, but you won't let me in your pants when you drive.
You're an independent woman who is defined by her own actions and not by whether or not you have a man. You also have great tits.
He has no idea I'm scrolling through Instagram while he's going down on me. I'm so bored.
If your talking about a poncho I WANT ONE
Anyhow. He gives me orgasms and cuddles and buys me dinner and alcohol. Ill keep him around and cross that other girl bridge when we get there ha ha
I just sharted for the first time in my life. Age 33. Lying in bed. Sober. 2021 is off to a great start!
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