it was great that she threw up because that made me the only one trying to hook up with her
We were driving to the party as he was giving me key bumps.. That's what I call team work
btw im making up a story about these stitches..... i think a hockey stick to the face sounds better then i fell up the stairs
I'm just gonna ignore the fact that I have no pants on and find a way home. A good one-nighter never goes back for his pants.
You can't call dibs 8 years later.
I spent most of the night convinced it was my birthday. But I was probably wrong, it can't be January, can it? I'm 90% sure its not. But maybe. The days have got shorter. Is this what unemployment feels like to everyone?
You're alright. You just passed out while we were having sex. Then I'm pretty sure you peed. So I went home.
If I have to masturbate more than twice a week you fail as a fuck buddy. Just so you know...................you failed
if drunk means calling me and asking to borrow the game of life at 2am then I think you were drunk
They don't even know who I am but they just woke me up with maracas and invited my boobs to a kegger
I think curling is the best thing to watch when you're baked.
I woke up with my shoes still on and my pants around my ankles cause I couldn't get them over my shoes
I am buying anal lube, an enema, and a bag of kit kats. What part of this is compelling the Walgreens woman to tell me to "be well".
i'll talk to you in three hours when you've stopped foaming at the mouth and your eyes have rolled back into place
He may be 6' 6" but I'm 180 lbs of pure rage and determination
Randomize
