thx for the lesson on dirrty dancing
She said her name was "party"
All the good ones are taken. All that's left is the Harry Potter geek or the asshole in the corner. I think I'll settle for Harry Potter.
She was drinking straight whiskey out of her peacock shaped vase again.
the meat mosque collapsed into the alcohol moat
all im saying is that if he was a normal person, he would have fucked me by now.
I pull out like 90% of the time, but that's just to make art.
My arms are hairy. And so Is my left leg. Just my left leg, the right is smooth.
Um...It has come to my attention that I may have said some rather vulgar things about Sean Connery to you and anyone listening last night, so...I apologize for that. I meant the things I said. But still. Sorry.
When you're a bigshot ER surgeon and I'm a starving artist, I want you to remember who held your hair last night.
Apparently "I licked it so now it's mine" doesn't apply to people
You knocked on your freshman year room door, told the kids who opened it "I own you", and attempted to force-feed them everclear.
I woke up in some kids room and he introduced me to his friends at breakfast as "Monica" so I just went with it.
He left weed in my bong for me this morning. What a guy.
Please note that in response to your post about your dog's jaws clamped hard around a stick, I did not comment, "Takes after his dad." You're welcome.
Randomize
