his personality makes his face look like an asshole.
Then all the boys were saying that they were amazed at how much i could smoke...i'm so proud of myself
We had like 4 guys come over and buy us all drinks as an excuse to hit on Kendra. Hanging out with her is now officially fiscally responsible.
I can't belive they dont sell booze Sunday mornings. I mean some of us have to work
Luckily my prof thought I was puking from nerves and gave me motivational mini speeches the entire final.
Sorry we couldn't "turn off the mirrors." How're you feeling today?
Sorry I don't make house calls. You wanna get blown you come over here. It's like rock paper scissors but vagina ALWAYS beats penis
STOP LICKING HIS MUSTACHE
I found him in his pink and white boxer out side the dorm hall and the only thing he said was "it wouldn't let me in"
You said "bag of dicks" before passing out and falling off the landing
Oh god... Please tell me Sarah didn't see me like this
...you may have kinda punched her in the tit on the way down...
You're cock blocking me from my own boyfriend. What kind of shit is that?
Literally the only clue I have to try and figure out my blackout adventures is a draft on twitter that just says "Mummies alive!"
Next year, please remind me not to be at a damn Super Bowl party with screaming children whose parents can't control them. I will sell the little suckers to the fucking circus passing through town.
The impromptu 'dance party' was just three white dudes flailing arrhythmically in the kitchen in absolute silence. Stone cold sober.
Sorry for prompting a philosophical penis discussion at 10:45 on a Friday night.
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