This is a mass text. Does anyone know what the hell the asian woman at the end of Napoleon Dynamite is doing in the movie
dude ... she has a full length mirror in her shower, don't even tell me shes not dtf
recycled a plan b box. kill a baby. save a tree.
My coke dealer called me at midnight just to ask how to spell a word. Not sure how I should feel about that.
I took my pants off in the cab and tried to bite his ear. Not going oout for awhile
she named my penis "gigantor the baby arm"
I'm sitting next to some random guy in a gorilla suit drinking out of a bottle of vodka.
He's majoring in Religion
Turning 21 will be slightly bittersweet. Never again will I be able to get underage drunk at Disney World, now I'll only be able to get legal drunk and that just sets a whole different and sad tone for my life.
OMG. Dad just threw a 100 dollar bill down on the table for a girl to lift her shirt. I think he was kidding, but...
You rope them in with the looks and the boobs, and I'll bore them into submission with random trivia. We can't lose.
Just spent 10 minutes washing away my own puke. This gas station lady loves me.
My general physician told me i have the emotional capacity of a 2 year old, While he refilled my xanax prescription. That's service!
My vagina is no longer accepting new clients.
Have you ever eaten pizza and gotten your dick sucked at the same time? Because I have pizza.
Apparently 'ewww' is not the correct response to him saying he has to go to a funeral while I'm there.
Randomize
