McDonalds has hash browns for only a quarter!....how many u want?
All of them
We walked in and they were fucking to Somewhere Over the Rainbow... I need a new roommate.
Woke up on the floor holding a sandwich. Shots. Never again.
I just ate a fried snickers. I now officially accept all fat jokes
I was trying to be an adult about it and simply deal with the situation, but a bowl seemed much more comforting.
Will that be creepy to wake him up at midnight with my tongue all over his body??
I mean technically the bite was both in my nose and on the outside of it. I thought I was going to need stitches or something.
Why was his mouth around your nose anyways?
It was just one of those nights, man.
My night started to turn around the time I started calling her a "raggedy cunt".
Somehow she got that I meant it as a term of endearment.
there was a keg and pinata at my uncles funeral, and a bunch of scary looking biker dudes showed up to pay their respects. i need to strive to be more like him.
I just woke up naked next to a GetGo sandwich and I can hear my cats are eating my combos. So that's my life.
Speaking of, what are you doing next weekend? I'm going to a rope bondage seminar and may need a partner if my date bails.
I wish period tracker had a "on this day" also so i can see who i was with this day last year.
Sometimes I look at dogs and just thing about how it's weird we both came from wolves
Lay off the drugs kid
I told him I might be pregnant and he said he'd buy me a test and a twix bar. I'm marrying him. Tomorrow.
I wish I got tanner on friday but I feel like I spent most of my time puking in the bathroom. I love my life
Randomize
