There's some strange man with hair that keeps talking to us. I'm scared.
This is how horror movies start. Going to bar with strange hair guy. He's paying. Bad idea?
Ditched hair man. Got free cab ride to market. Want food. I win.
You wouldn't stop crying and screaming Hilary Duff doesn't deserve Gossip Girl
i cant get the smell of ass out of my nose
He didn't speak any English, but I think I caught the word turtle in there somewhere.
Why would he say turtle mid-fuck?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I have now hooked up with 8 of the Apostles. I have no idea where I'm going to find a guy named Bartholomew.
im not going to any frat parties next semester. for once i want them to think its actually hard to get in my vagina
Also, new rule: You are no longer allowed to send me a text with the word "dildo" in it before 10am.
Hes laying on the floorn in the bathroom telling Jesus to raise the flag
There's a guy in here whose face looks like it would be perfect between my legs.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Really?!? Does he think blocking me on FACEBOOK means that he doesn't have a kid with me?!
The lady at the Humaine Society gave me her nephew's number because I seem like a loving and caring person.
Does she know that each time you've adopted a new cat in the past year it's because some guy stopped fucking you and you don't want to eat your feelings?
It takes a special friend to go vibrator shopping with
Yes. It does.
When I die I just want my headstone to my name, date of birth-death, and TEQUILA!!
Do you ever have one of those days when your breasts are just fucking awesome?
... why is there baby oil , black socks and frozen hot dogs in the sink this morning ?
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