Now hope fervently that she'll do it quick and cheap, just the way i like it
Just so you know, each of my boobs fits perfectly in a martini glass.
College is just filling the gap until I get a rich girl pregnant
grilled cheese. we just shotgunned grilled cheese.
The only thing the cop asked me is..... "how are you still alive"?
yeah i fucked her in the storage room on the inflatable mattress. i don't know if i should feel proud for me or bad for her.
At least it earned you a couple drinks. And something tells me you've touched grosser things with less incentive.
When I find myself drinking from a boot I just go with it and refuse to ask why.
My mouth holds just enough water for my bong
Cops came. Forced us to take the "Honk and We'll Drink" and the "Free Shots to Father's of Freshman Daughters" signs down. Before we did, someone honked and the cop said, "Aren't you gonna drink?" They then told us to move the party inside by ten.
Exactly. So you're exempt under the "I can't just fuck her to make it go away" clause of 2010.
It is super hard to find a good vegan dominatrix! THAT'S why I'm single
How does one hint at their mentee that they used to casually fuck his brother
Oh damn it. Let me get a beer. I can't take anymore bad news. Hold on.
At what point can I admit that I hate going to house parties?
I don't wanna stand in your shitty kitchen making small talk while I guard the quality booze I brought.
Randomize
