Mario Lopez is the poor mans Ryan Seacrest
They call it the Collection Couch because all 4 room mates have slept with at least 3 different girls on it. He tried to seal the deal with "would you like to be number 14?"
And sadly I did.
If I don't have herpes this will be the single greatest day of my life
Someone in a vagina costume on campus.
I think I might be drunk enough to cut my own hair
Fuckers are stealing our internet and making my porn stream slowly so I changed the password for VanceRefrigeration to RyansaCunt. No spaces but capitalization.
Apparently im getting a reputation for how i mix drinks. Im the midas of booze. Everything i touch turns to koolaid.
which guy lost his keys in my bed this weekend?
If you want me to retract my crazy cat lady comments pictures of yourself dressed as a cat are not the way to do it.
I apparently used the line "I'm a bouncer too so i would know if I were too drunk" then they asked me to leave.
Last night you made me help you pick the raisins out of a kashi bar and acted like it was the most important thing to ever happen to you or our friendship
I punched the bar tender after he cut me off. Hopped over the bar and made my own drink. That's how I got tazed
what do you mean i can't make cookies with a blow dryer? challenge accepted.
I'm now forever going to blame miss frizzle for making me the sexual deviant that I am today
I just want to say that I've always loved you and you are my best friend ever
You gave that creepy guy my number, didn't you? You really need to learn how to just say no, not interested.
Randomize
