you know he's having a sex change. I can't believe you called him "titty man" to his face....
just convinced brandon semen are bugs that crawl in your pants and make gooey juice. now hes convinced he has them lmao
it feels good to walk into a CVS and not go straight to the pharmacy counter for plan b. its been a while....
Yes. It's so easy to pack to leave when you've thrown away half your clothing cause it smells like vomit.
And she was like "I wanted you all for myself, to love you, and treat you like gold."... See this is why I shouldn't fuck Italian chicks...
before we even ate breakfast we'd found an eighth of weed in some old purse she never uses. it was gone by lunch
She started howling at the moon. That was pretty much the deal breaker.
Spring Fling is on 420. The theme better be 'Flower Child'.
I want there to be fog machines and unicorns.
They are taking turns pissing on the fire. This is my life.
This drive is very scenic
And I'm chugging whiskey in the back
As you should, soak in all this country has to offer
I think that's why god made me a woman. Bc it's harder to slap people in the face with a vagina.
Then he shook the next streetlight but this one broke and fell over. He told me, "This is the part where we run."
We're exchanging our favorite porn sites at 9 am. I think this brings our relationship to a whole new level
Its really hard to get off when the googly eyes on your vibrator stare into your soul..
Ok you had this coming you put a sponsored filter on a dick pic
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