Watching water boil has never been so amazing. I love wake-and-bakes.
come over, blizzard of oz party. dress up.
She just told me her legs are numb and that she dedicated her karaoke of ice ice baby to her 4 month old son.
They just asked a fat guy to move to the other side of the plane. Send me a pic of your tits incase we crash
I rolled out of the car, crawled on all fours to the door, did somersaults all the way to my room, and then I ran across the parking lot to tell our neighbor you wanted to bang him. I'm not even sure if it was the right guy.
My reasons for going are selfish. She just opened her own law firm. I figure having a lawyer as a friend is a good idea. Nothing in my life suggests I won't need a lawyer again.
Something bad happened. I'm just giving you some notice. So you can smoke some pot and hide all sharp items in the house.
Chilling on my porch debating between pre work drinking or video games and getting high.
all I'm saying is if you're gonna fuck a fat chick do it in a pool it's like zero gravity or something
how did you graduate high school
Got another job?
If by job you mean clever way of getting free tattoos, then yes. I got another job.
We don't have paper towels so I microwaved a spinach/egg sandwich thingy wrapped in toilet paper. Toilet paper. so that's how my day started.
Naked and Afraid: Hangover edition
Help I accidentally unlocked this guy's tragic backstory and I need a rewind button!
He fucked me so hard my contacts fell out! Didnt know that was possible.
Got baked and laid and ate baked lays when I laid down while baking the brownies I I’m Superman
You’re still high, aren’t you?
Oh yeah
Randomize
