your transformation into a slut upon entering college is like a shakespearian tragedy
there was a guy who was being paid to stand outside of Abercrombie without a shirt on... normally i would be okay with this but he was 40...
You pointed at his crotch then made a thrusting motion. I think it's safe to say every guy at my college loves you.
Dude, you walked in on me 5 times each times you had a different person with you. And each time you lifted the covers up and said 'whats going on in here'
I can't think of anything besides pubic hair fallout. Ugh.
If you go to the bathroom don't ask why there's diet coke on the toilet. Loller copter. Blow is fun.
Oh my God. He stopped counting at 22.. His senior year. I feel the STDs infecting my taint as we speak.
I ate 12 cupcakes in less than 24 hours, so no judgement here.
Just consider it? What else do you have going on today that could be as awesome as a day full of lord of the rings and sex?
Been awake for 50 some odd hours. I've discovered I can spew out maaaad papers whilst coked out of my face. My roommates probably think I'm dead. Money well spent. You?
Mind if I sleep with your cousin? If I can... thanks. If no, sorry its gonna happen.
Used my brand new sperrys as a trash can to throw up in and woke up with someone's random key in my hair...new year new me:)
Woke up with a $50 attached to my penis with a rubber band..
Sweet. Tell little Richard to buy us a sack and a pizza.
So how do I get back in good graces for trying to trade you for superbowl tickets?
I'm sorry I tried to spit drugs down your throat like a baby bird last night.
Randomize
