Any of you guys fuck a 16 year old again? Because our front yard got fucked over high school style.
Michelle and I recorded her bunny humping it's little rubber black ball.
about to get into a hot tub with three cops. this cant go well
Made it home ok. Only got hit by one car.
Yeah we call her cincohandjabos because she gave 5 guys handjobs one night in 5th grade
I'm being an old woman and getting trashed in a night gown in public...of course it's going to be fun
My phone broke again .... im not really sure how im going 2 explain the teeth marks to the ppl at the Verizon store
He sent me a picture of his dick earlier so now we can all laugh at him tomorrow
Oh my god. I slept with my boyfriend last night. It was wonderful.
And when I say my boyfriend I mean my electric blanket. Because that's the kind of life I lead.
Dude if I call tonight please answer and just say "NO, dont do it."
BAT SHIT CRAZY
It's you're fault, even though I never called
Also, what day were you thinkin we should trip balls at the children's museum?
Did your grand seduction include learning to play careless whisper on a kazoo or was that just a hobby
Foreign objects found in purse this morning include: chocolate covered pretzels, pepper spray, and farm animal shaped key chains (you know the ones you squeeze and fake poop comes out, yea those)
IF THE SUNS NOT EVEN OUT THEN WHY IS HIS DICK OUT WTF
Idk, apparently drinking five Four Loko's and trying to fight a mailbox constitutes disorderly conduct.
Randomize
