you didnt have any toilet paper so I just took a shower
I love my grandma, but if I have to sit and watch one more show on Bravo, I'm gonna burn her fuckin house to the ground
I bet him anal if they won...the one time Detroit decides to win, it had to be this week
any plan I had today of being a productive member of society, I am officially throwing out the window.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
yeah bitch needs to recognize there's only one person with this face
He had the Transformers symbol tattooed to his chest. We had to do it doggy style so I could laugh into my pillow instead of his face.
For some reason I just don't think you going to the gay bar alone on thanksgiving is a good idea.
I just headbutted my cat because he was trying to eat my bacon.
there's a barbecue in the shower. I'd like to know who got this to fit inside perfectly. impressive
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Be careful. Don't drive if your body turns into a caterpillar again.
The slot machines are wishing me happy birthday. Mission success.
It is very possible that having sex with you just now just got me into Yale
I'll just save you what dignity you have left by letting what happened die with your lack of memory and/or liver.
I love how when he said ecstasy pills both of our heads whipped around like a couple of horned owls.
I. Am. Not. Tattooing. My. Penis.
Randomize