I was thinking about texting her and telling her I had syphilis when I was with her and that she should get tested. just for shits and giggles. skank dahaha
She described it as "a squirrel being hit by a hurricane"
She helped me organize my comics and then blew me. This is the one.
The other night after we fucked we talked about Lowe's vision insurance. Never fuck a coworker.
So our 'date' consisted of getting drunk off champagne at four and photo-bombing the shit out of tourist's pictures all over the city. Thoughts?
DAMMIT. BOHEMIAN RHAPSODY IS GONNA GET STUCK IN MY HEAD AGAIN. FUCK YOU OLYMPICS.
Oh my god i hate key west. No one takes amex and strippers took all my money
I've hit an all time low I just sent a boob pict to fat Randall the one I gave a partial bj to a year a a half ago
L'Shannah Tovah!
Whats that? My new stripper name?
Sorry I pissed in your closet and lied to your parents that it was probably a flood. He got up to go to the bathroom, expecting sex when he got back, I panicked
Once the overwhelming "oh god my crotch is on fire" wears off, that excite stuff is really nice
He's nice and all but I think I rather masturbate my way to happiness instead.
I'm not sure you count what happened last night as sex.
He had a tattoo of the Batman logo around his asshole. I noped right the hell out of there.
Are we allowed to ho on the roof?
Randomize
