The bars here don't close until 4!
my legs don't close until 4
so i completely puked my brains out. a lot. he held me up so i could brush my teeth. then we proceeded to hook up for the next four hours.
he's a keeper
Me + Nice restaurant + Copious amounts of booze + obscene comments to couples = valentine's day plans
Ok. So I've woke up in a hospital. New thing to top that.... Waking up and realizing you've been locked inside the bar by urself at 430 am and all the doors are locked by key
I had to assert my dominance as Alpha Drunk.
Bud light lime after 12 shots of vladdy is like frolickin in a meadow of sweet flavor
I'm hoping they send me home from work drunk.
Yeah i was handcuffed to the bed all night but i actually slept like a baby
So I woke up alone in the hotel room clutching a bible to my chest. Explain, please.
You left me a drunk voicemail of you describing your pizza to me at 2 AM
That was years ago. And it was chlamydia.
Guess who has two thumbs and broke her boyfriends dick?
PLEASE HELP ME THE AMERICANS ARE YELLING ABOUT TURKEY, I DON'T KNOW WHAT TO DO
I just ordered a five person drink for myself.... Right about now you should start saving me from myself....
True I am eskimo brothers with every one of my room mates, but it was only two girls. And 9 outta 10 times I was first
Randomize
