It's Friday. Sex?
38 yer olds are good kisserssss
I couldn't tell if he was hitting on me or if he was just mentally challenged.
Despite what happened tonight, Im still expecting Jesus birthday sex
Chances are I'll be there for your wedding. Camelbaks filled with jack and coke are appropriate attire, right?
So it turns out rose was the bear hunting girl. Fuck my life
None of those words made sense together.
if I'm at school tomorrow just indulge my moment of pity and let me cry on your shoulder
i want to live in a society where a 20 year old can wear pigtails and not get them called handlebars, because i look fucking adorable in them.
I. recorded a message of me yelling at myself to "get up out of that bed" and set it an alarm. REALLY loud
I just ordered cookies for delivery. My life is falling apart.
Basically one minute I'm sucking on her nipples and then 45 mins later we're at work and she's my boss.
I can show you the world. Shining, splimbering vaginaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa
If I die at work, I want you to have my mustache collection
While walking to class I was handed a red bull, condoms, and a mini bible. I love my school.
i'm sitting in my room 'bout to smoke a bowl. also, i found out that you don't need a permit to own a tiger in wisconsin, so we're buying one when we move in together.
Randomize
