Black lace...the rest is up to ur imagination
Your roommate was biting my friend last night. It was weird.
everytime she opens her mouth i wish that i was deaf
Lots of explosions. Minor nudity. Full penetration and lots of tuxedos.
Girl next to me in class just said to her friend "and I haven't even cried yet." Challenge accepted
I'm bringing vagina and cookies. You'll be fine.
Also, just had a student offer to sell me Xanax. Want some? Just for like a rainy day. Or our memorial day shitshow. Or just another Wednesday night.
I just smoked weed out of a baked potato.
You rock my world.
my parents have to start far too many of our conversations with the sentence "this is an observation, not a judgment" than I'm proud of
That pizza at 1 am literally tasted like I was eating an angel
She leaned in close to me, made eye contact, and seriously whispered "I will eat your soul with bacon bits." I want whatever drug she was on.
im single, its not even nine am on Valentine's day and I've already gotten laid. suck it relationships
Where the fuck are you? I just got punched in the nose by a tourist
I may have just sent her dad a picture of my penis. His name's Myron, right?
I have "if found please return to" written in sharpie on my arm, my uterus is rejecting everything, and I have hickies. I must actually be an 18 year old piece of shit girl instead of a responsible 23 year old
Randomize
