I did that thing where I cum for no reason again.
He snuck into some random hotel's continental breakfast at 3 AM and then passed out on a bench in the lobby. When the cops found him they made him empty out his pockets. No phone, no ID just muffins.
i just put all of my beerlympics medals into my academic awards box. i would say they are my greatest achievement since college.
Mother fucker. I'm a 30J now. I'm fucking speechless
You're my spirit guide. This has to do with oatmeal cream pies.
I just pulled a handful of rice out of my pocket.
Hundreds of bug bites..Dad jokingly says "looks like you passed out naked in the woods somewhere"
There are so many Jimmy John's employees here
Where are you?
Jimmy John's.
Just had a heart to heart with my John Belushi poster.
How was it playing wingman?
I feel like I was rockys coach watching him get the shit beaten out of him by Apollo creed
all i know is there's a picture on my phone of him wearing my purple sweatpants and licking the bottom of my foot.
I mean, it was a fun hookup and he's cute and whatnot, but he wouldn't go down on me. Plus he's a republican. Idk why but those things feel like they go hand in hand.
After you smoke one night. Just whisper in a barely audible voice, "Grey Poupon"
HIS DICK IS SO AWESOME DUDE. 15/10 SURPRISE
my dad just liked my status about my bowl being stolen even he feels my pain
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