my friend just told me "I dunno what u r doing but keep doing it cuz it makes u look fabulous"
LOL that's cool. Guess u r gonna have to keep doing me
I cont stop tolking in a british axsent
when people say theyve been sober for however many years is that like couple beers not drunk sober, or no drinking sober?
I'm not sober enough to be having a conversation about a rap she wrote in Spanish about public safety
LSHMSFOAIDMT = laughing so hard my sombrero falls off and I drop my taco.
You better fuck one or both of those bitches and bring me pictures that will make me uncomfortable
I can do at least one of those things.
I just spent 10 min explaining to my mom how orange is a strange color. I think she knows
I say go for the trifecta and maybe you'll get a medal or something. Or a baby. That's like the same thing right?
Worst luck of my entire life. Came in my own mouth
I need a hug and tequila
I'm sitting next to a milk crate full of tequila right now
This is why we need to live in the same city again
I bet the guy on the treadmill next to me with the noise-canceling headphones wishes he could trade them for smell-canceling noseplugs. Hard to believe that last one did not involve any pants-shitting on my part.
Yeah he drove 30 minutes at 3 AM to come fuck me in my neighbors treehouse
I'm pretty sure I hallucinated the existence of an entire human being last night.
You woke up in between the boxspring and the matress in a random dorm room.
If you don't respond in the next 30min, I'm going to assume your in a sex coma, in jail, or dead... All of which I've become accustomed to, and will follow the appropriate channels of notification once you notify me.
Randomize
