Sometimes when I whip my dick out it looks REAL impressive. This, was NOT one of those times.
I love being friends with rich people. I get laid by association.
what about "I will fuck you for a jamba juice" do you not understand?
you'd think with how big her nose is she'd have a better smelling pussy..
in the bathroom helping her wash cum out her eye. pretty much explains my sex life
I just saw a girl in Albersons in spandex and curlers buying PBR. Only PBR.
I just saw someone marching around outside wearing only a loincloth, dragging a fuckton of sheet metal. Spring has Sprung.
the higher we get, the more he looks like ray charles.
Just in case you were wondering..... I really did just wave goodbye to you with my penis.
There should be a company that sends nadgrams. They're like candy grams except the recipient gets kicked in the balls.
His name sounds so important....sounds like the name of my future baby daddy to me.
Sneezing cum all over the table was not the highlight of the family reunion if that tells you anything
I think after 8 tries we can say Stoli Thursdays cause too much damage.
Now with the essential back story, I can empathize. Sorry about your beer and butthole.
I'm still waiting for God to smite you for impersonating a decent human being.
Randomize
