so im in the parking lot of taco bell eating a taco...and some girl just got out of a car and screamed at the top of her lungs "XANEX FOR SALE!!!!" i fucking love Hamilton.
Stop being a whore!!! Everyone can see!!!!
I decided that just having that story under my belt and being able to tell it to my grandchildren is worth the regrets of the evening.
just heard someone say they saw a guy puke while riding a bike across campus without stopping
I tapped out to boredom. She bought me a full meal at Subway. Two tap beers and a pretty weak long island iced tea. I'm five dollars cheaper to fuck than she is.
Drinking with mariachis at jimmy johns.
I just very easily got pretty high off of one bowl of shitty dirt weed. I'm a sad excuse for who I used to be.
They said I was more of a mess than the German. I have achieved the unachievable, you may bow down to me
I just had sex over my oven then high fived the guy. It's going to be a good year.
Whenever I'm hungover I try to stay in public as much as possible, hoping to be a cautionary tale to children. It's a public service, really.
We are 100% horrible people, and im extremely happy we are friends
There's something really beautiful about walk of shaming past the Capitol.
He then used a box cutter I keep in my car to open the plan b. Who says chivalry is dead?
Someone explain to me why I woke up to find a stolen shopping cart in my room...
No I’m scared man. She sharted. In my car. Wearing a dress. And I still like her.
Wow
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