you should probably quit with the whole "no homo" thing, especially when you are drunk, "mo homo"gives the wrong impression.
Thats the last thing I remember and then I woke up in this Dutch kids dorm and he was taking a picture of me while I was sleeping
it's like heaven, but drunker
You kept making up "snapple facts" every time you opened a beer.
Now one day I will be able to tell my children how a drag queen in a gay bar told mommy that bin laden was dead
Judge me...This apron fits PERFECTLY when I have no clothes on
Who said I was judging? More like congratulating.
Finals week...the biggest cock block since your brother threatened me with a beer bottle at the bar.
It was the night of "what the fuck have you done with my daughter and where is she" texts from mom...
We could have had it all. And by all I mean sex in your Toyota Corolla.
This is my gift to your gina
I woke up with Pop Rocks stuck to my ass
Sexual favors are the only currency recognized by the Republic of Greg
I realize ur driving andwont read this til u stop, but I'm sleeping in the bed of the pickup. Please don't hit a deer.
All I'm saying is there better be a bow on your dick for my birthday
The best part of being a lesbian? If I'm late for work at a hookup's place I can use her make up and peace out. Well and all the sex of course.
Randomize
