dude i doubt hes gay
I CAUGHT HIM BEATING OFF TO MENS HEALTH!
holy crap !! There is a MIDGET FAMILY in one of my rooms today !
How much trouble would you get into if you were to stomp down the hallway while loudly saying 'Fe Fi Fo Fum...'
So at this point...I'm sure you heard the story about Saturday night
I give him blow jobs while he watches sports.. how am I not his gf yet??
and then he said "my sister has the same underwear!" please come get me.
dad just smoked me out. he's yelling at room service for not giving him cookies and milk with his towels...we're both too high to know if thats a legit complaint.
Just ordered an appetizer sampler to distract the fat chicks so we can escape
Just ran four miles to popeye's. And back. Dedication.
Well I blew a guy I barely know in full view of a homeless camp. That's pretty tame for me.
Holy shit, Uber is testing a service to summon an ice cream truck.
Bring me the penis of the founder so I may endlessly fellate him. Or cunnalinge. I don't discriminate.
I have way too big of a thanksgiving food baby to enjoy any of my old high school booty calls
Jk probs not coming. Tequila
When you accidentally text the wrong guy for a dick pic and your surprised you get one In return. He just got on my "to do" list
... why is there baby oil , black socks and frozen hot dogs in the sink this morning ?
There were 16 girls and 31 titties. That’s how the club was. Lance doesn’t get to decide ever again.
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