Well i threw up in my mouth a few times. But i successfully swallowed it. Still going strong.
How wet are you?
Ever heard of a U-boat?
Sometimes I get depressed that my son is too young to understand how hot his babysitter is.
Heads up. We filled your kiddie pool with kool-aid and vodka. Things are about to get Out. Of. Hand. Quickly.
seriously, i am too high for the omelet station to be playing Being For The Benefit Of Mr Kite at 7am
It reminded me of the time my mother gave my Bailey's in my stocking when I was 14.
please dont ever try to drink horizontally again. I thought I was going to have to give you cpr
Tonight's trip to the ER was brought to you by, "fork jousting."
I just saw a girl on crutches doing a walk of shame. She is either super dedicated, or her night didn't go as planned.
OUR DIABOLICAL SLUT PLAN HATH COMMENCED!
No sorry. I may be a happy drunk but my gag reflux is an angry drunk.
Like I just asked Greg why I don't have a crown for my vagina. That drunk.
If I send Ben a tit pic but I do it while wearing a Tom Brady mask is that funny or creepy
ARE YOU OKAY?
Physically? Yes. Morally? No.
I'm drinking apple juice and champagne while watching crossroads..like the classy bitch that i am.
Randomize
