You love popeyes more than me
does delicious chicken come out of your vagina?
There are the 2 BIGGEST tools by me-- at our table. I hate them. But they're not ugly and I may make out with them later. And hate myself. Definitely hate myself.
We can't all go after the girl with the low self-esteem
Was waiting for the adderal to kick in then realized I had been brushing my teeth for eighteen minuites
well... just scaled a wall and entered the bar through the balcony. just making some last minute memories nbd.
His penis has been a bonding mechanism beyond comparison.
I enjoy it and I rock at it. I wish there were a respectable way to make giving blow jobs a career.
Just had the "whores are people too" talk with Mom. Bright side it's Christmas, and I may have been drunk, I don't think she caught on.
I don't care if my next phone has to run on the blood of virgin koala bears, I don't want to be scrambling for a charger.
He asked me for a pic so I sent him a pic of my boyfriends dick.
I truly wish I could say I pulled my groin straddling our cab driver but unfortunately I cannot
Do you ever get high and look at your cat and feel like you know them on an intellectual level?
i just wanna know who wrote "dibbz" on my ass?
I don't want to sleep with any other woman but you but I want to try this whole mother daughter thing that would be nuts
at the hospital. Kevin drank straight from the river
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