Regardless thnx for trying to help out, I realize we are dealing w/ very stupid girls here
chicago's viagra triangle is not unlike the bermuda triangle in thatt things just get lost...... planes, ships, dignity, virginity, etc.
overheard a conversation between 2 lesbians: 'back when I used to have dick sex...' oh, vegas, I so heart you
i have to start hiding my credit card when i drink i woke up this morning with 4 emails from Farmville telling me i spent over $800 on coins last night
He told me something must be wrong, because no one had seen my boobs yet
Two dudes got up on top of the pianos and danced shirtless. They didnt even get kicked out. I love vegas
I was going to text him and apologize but I didn't want him to think that meant I approved of him being my niece's booty call.
We are hot boxing the gondola
I hate everything.
EVERYONE IS SPEAKING SPANISH. I ONLY KNOW HOLA.
It's a low moment when you're looking at your girlfriends tits on your daughter's phone..
I was dreaming of a parallel reality and in the dream I just looked up at my present self and was like "you're high, man"
man sorry about that. It's like god was willing me to be an asshole. I haven't filled my quota for the day
Wanna bang and Pregame work? I know you're the manager just promise to not fire me
In hindsight, maybe rearranging his living room because he has OCD while he was out wasnt the greatest idea. Though it'll keep him busy for HOURS
She shit herself again. We're calling her the "Queen of Sharts".
Randomize
