Its a three day weekend with Valentines day thrown in... Im obligated to get drunk
Her divorce is going to cut into the amount of time we spend fucking.
I'm in awe of how selfish that is.
frozen drink friday is suspended until further notice
hi sober isdnt real. this is a mass rtoomate taext i thing. bye
AMAZING.
In my drunkeness I was planning how to throw up without my parents hearing. I was gonna go for a "run" and just throw up outside.
you trust me enough to eiffel tower a girl but don't trust me with a mallet wtf happened to our friendsship
Im wearing all my glow sticks to bed so i know where my arms are at all times.
Celebrating anything "Eve" is never a good choice! I feel like my soul's been put in a blender on the "destroy" setting- in other news: Happy 4th of July
I've been randomly kik messaging bearded men I find on Instagram while sitting unshowered in my underpants. I'm like the girl version of a creepy uncle.
I am a woman. I need to be selective about the porn I stream on my phone. Who knows if my cell will ever get lost, who will see it and what they'd think otherwise. Keepin' it classy tampa.
No celebraish? But today's the day that Jesus, Bruce Springsteen, and a flock of bald eagles came down from the heavens in fighter jets with electric guitars and M-16s a blazon, saying "Hey America, fuck the Red Coats, it's time to party"
He just texted me saying "you've got a face that suggests you give really good head". Is this a compliment? Do I say thanks?
As planned I took it to the limit. Then we met a new limit. Now they are limit friends.
How many more times can I say I need to get laid before you kill me?
i guess "never drinking again" is not an option when you invent a whole new level of drunk...
Randomize
