put your butt on the phone this is a booty call
I JUST GOT MY PERIOD AND MY VISA FOR LONDON GOT APPROVED! BEST DAY EVER!
so my class lasted 15 minutes this morning because this kid puked all over himself..only at radford
just had amazing sex with a girl I got caught with in second grade playing doctor. her examination is finallllly over
when I woke up I found a half-eaten cherry toaster strudel sandwich with bacon in the middle.
i walked outside and you were driving up the stairs to her apartment
I passed out on the floor of a truck stop. Drinking binge 2011 is now over.
I mass texted 4 of you for a booty call. Please reply all when responding so only one of you shows up. Last one is a rotten egg.
there's chocolate cake in my bathtub.. I don't even want to know how the hell chocolate cake wound up in my tub..
A sandwich with pizza as the bread. I love you.
YES WITH THE SQUARE KIND OF SLICES
Seriously, come get him. He's not even a person anymore. He's a loud, drunk, cock-blocking wrecking ball.
He let me finish eating my sandwich while I sat his face. I think I'm in love with this little eager beaver.
He woke me up holding a gallon of apple juice and a shot glass...
You start to question your morals when you wake up at 430 and there's three people naked...that you don't no
I drank beer out of a Frisbee and it was all downhill from there...
Randomize
