Literal conversation "you are ________ ____. you facebook friended me"
Apparently he's never heard a queef, he totally thought I farted and got freaked out.
I was 10 minutes late leaving for lunch today because I couldn't lose a boner. It is impossible to tuck it when your shirt is tucked in...gotta quit facebook stalking hot chicks at work
just had sex with a midget and didnt wrap it... were totally gonna have a tv show :)
I think I should become a real estate agent in th friend zone I know the place so well
Gay TA. Finally going to boost my GPA your way.
It was romantic. He brought over a bottle of Jack to celebrate us becoming official on Facebook. Definitely a story for the grandkids.
i look like a southern belle. however, i am around a million kegs. so i will be a southern shitshow.
I should know better than to trust a man I've seen cry on multiple occasions to give me accurate sports information.
So your best guy friend eats your pussy once and a while, no big deal. It's like going to jiffy lube once and a while to let the professionals do it. Your husband should understand .
Making a me burrito to ward off the cold...and the aloneness of my vagina
You literally chaperoned my booty call.
tbh I think I just dated him for his dogs in the first place.
I got copblocked.
What?
Cockblocked. By a cop. Copblocked.
Here's a rundown of my night alone. Danced my ass off in the kitchen to FleetmacWood. Drank a little bit. Ordered $40 worth of Chinese food once the drinks kicked in. Picked up said Chinese in dirty sweatpants and slippers. #livinglife
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