...., I just tried brushing my hair wothh a toothbrushg. fail
ps not my toothbrush awkward.
I just found 'pokemon orgy' in my search history
Since when does wearing a condom and going down on me make someone a gentlemen?
I like one night stands...theyre like crushes for big kids
for me the strap perfect is like a chastity belt
normally i would apologize for my drunk texting but even sober me agrees.
What should I wear?
Uhhhhh...idk? it's a gay bar
I found something that says "i'm here to party, but not fuck guys."
I could barely talk to the cabbie and I was text bombing everyone. They need to make an auto timer app to prevent people like me from belligerent late night harrassing. And I was seeing double... Prob would have tried to give your leg a bj and then fallen down the stairs.
What's sign language for "you may not be the father?" Kinda important right now.
The plan was to get laid... Now the plan is to survive.
Girl, he can't tell you not to take a bump just because you work tomorrow. You're on a wedding diet, remember?
Trying not to look at her chest is like trying to not hear a fire engine racing by.
I made him dress me after we fucked. He put me in TMNT pants and then told me I looked hot.
The parents I babysit for are at this orgy. I need to leave.
Just let me suck your dick and be happy. Let me have this.
Randomize
