why doesnt he love me? i have tried everything. i even sang to him after sex.
you have got to be kidding?
Just smoked a bowl with the exterminator. I think my day is more productive.
Besides, I'm not in my 30's. I'm still allowed to drink wine from a bag.
love being home for thanksgiving just had grandma pick me up from the frat by her house
in my lab write-up should i mention that i watered my plant with tequila?
You know its a good sign when a girl asks who everyone is AFTER she flashes her tits to the room.
I'd rather just be alone, than deal with this bullshit. I just want to be alone. Cats and vibrators never let you down.
Rosemary is literally sitting on the ground holding on to the rug because she thinks she is going to fall if she lets go. We smoked way too much.
i threw up in his garden in front of like five people smoking a joint. they let me have a hit after i was done so it was okay
She looks like a beluga.
I want to splash her with water and when she screams say "I didn't want you to die. You looked parched"
Imagine Arby's curly fries spiraled around a dick
We literally solved our fight using cat pictures on Instagram. True love.
I never thought I could be this turned on by a man wearing racoon tails.
a girl walked up to me and asked if you were my brother. she shook her head and said 'im so sorry' when i said yes. what did you fucking do????????
Just bought shot glasses from the thrift store. I think the guy buying a winter coat was even judging me.
Randomize