I just spent an hour correcting all the grammar and spelling of all the 2pac songs on my ipod
You told me to hold on because you had to barf like a dinosaur.
Ya I fucked her.. But now Melissa is gonna find out
Just tell her that in a man's never ending war between his heart and his dick... His heart never wins
Nothing like all your friends getting engaged to remind you how much fun sleeping around is.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I think im gonna bang this 35 year old at a kids birthday party in the bathroom at this house while the kids open the presents.
If you like her enough, bring her with. If not, eloquently cunt punt that bitch through the field goals of life.
They ran out of ice at the party, so I fixed my drink with frozen broccoli....the show must go on!
I started screaming "MY PARENTS ARE MORMON" at a stranger and promptly proceeded to run into a wall. How do you think it went?
Topless Tuesday? One of us will be really happy the other not so much.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's a long story, but I accidentally peed on my dog. I'll tell you about it tomorrow, and we shall never tell my wife.
Mischief managed.
YOU ARE NOT A MARAUDER, WHAT THE FUCK DID YOU DO NOW?
You’d probably be happy to know that I think I’ve mastered the skill of knowing “my type” and then steering clear
FINALLY. I THOUGHT THIS DAY WOULD NEVER COME!
The underwear in the garbage is clean. Just wipe the pizza sauce off
I can't talk, I can't walk, I think I'm twitching and I'm not even sure if I'm typing this. Help
I resent the implication of a jizz addiction
Randomize
