PS - I'm in bed with an 18 yr old-am I a cougar?
No - puma.
the next pure michigan commercial i see, i am going to pee in a fucking lake
is 69 when you're sideways or up & down? I was on my back & confused.
Just found a keg and a mini-bike in our garage, this couldn't possibly go wrong
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We made a water bong out of a wine bottle... Being an architect major finally payed off.
That's not a good night. A good night is waking up with no skirt, no money, and the imprint of the edge of the bar on your forehead.
I legitimately had a champagne shower last night at a rave. I was also carrying around two bananas in my pockets like guns. Drunk doesn't even. Begin to explain My night.
Aw don't be embarrassed. It was all good fun! We've all been there. You can't come to vegas and NOT get a little alcohol poisoning. That's like going to church and not praying.
I think I'm crying more because after all these years he never learned to spell you or use a comma properly from me
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Bro you fell face first into the sand and then balled up into the fetal position and yelled help untill I picked you up, no more whiskey for you...
Why is there a traffic cone in the shower? And did you wash it with my body wash? It smells nice.
my sex drive just dried up, fell out, and is rolling on the floor somewhere.
Why can't all sociopaths be as fabulous as me?
It's going to turn into you and me throwing down in a devastating lip-synch battle while everyone else stands around awkwardly.
He saw me naked after our first date and still asked for a second.. so I think we’re doing good
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