i hate this light. i wouldnt even hook up with me in this light
Upon hearing of his newfound access to every orifice... even ones he just made up... the Grinch's penis grew three sizes that day.
woke up this morning with "hah" written on my penis.i was like wtf?? morning wood kicked in and found out what it really said, haNNah.then i remembered.
So she comes up to me at the end of the night and asks me if I going to take her home and fuck her. I pretty much had to right?
you had an obligation.
you have no idea the dirty thing i want to do to your blad spot. please wear my vagina as a hat.
Sexual tension squid is drowning in the sexual tension
It would just be icing on the fucked up cake we're baking, if he got me pregnant.
I'm a professor! I can't be caught chasing the liquor with you hooligans once the undergrads have seen my face
In 2014 only three boys have seen my boobs so far
He went to cum on my stomach and somehow it got behind my ear. He's like a fucking jizz Houdini.
I wanna get high and watch Shrek tonight...don't make me do it alone.
You just kept yelling "you ain't got no pancake mix." to the tv screen
so i realized that he's only my physical relationship and beer is my emotional relationship...
I found half a candy bar in my bra today... Melted to my nipple. What a mess. It was still good though.
In celebration of finishing my homework, lets drink tea w/ vodka
Randomize
