I feel like your standards for women is like rent-a-centers standards for credit.
If she's telling you consent laws theres probably a reason
Woke up with 3 sports bras for underwear. Valiant effort drunk me.
he's drinking beer at home in his underwear tonight and if you want to come over the dresscode is underwear only. And you have to bring beer.
oh no, don't get me wrong.. she IS really pretty. If you are in to horses or Sarah Jessica Parker.
if creating a fake 8 year old brother, who lives with me and has had mono for the past month, to explain why I have ignored my group project members is wrong, then I... well then I'm probably going to hell
i woke up in just my socks. my clothes were outside, he had rugburn on his elbows, and a window was broken.
I just want to eat and sleep til I'm dead. I should've been born a cat.
She said, I've heard about you, from girls you wouldn't even be interested in. What?
she's p upset bro
Where is he. I have a sword.
Also apparently I made a "cake sandwich"--yeah smashed a massive piece of cake between two slices of bread....fucking tequila
You took a bite of the snack wrap put it down and fell asleep and when you woke up ten minutes later you asked how it got there, dipped it in soda ate it and fell back asleep.
I am playing in the snow in my bunny outfit. GET OVER HERE
Basically, I am an endless fountain of unconvential sexual experiences and knowledge.
Look, I need your help, not your judgment.
Randomize
