remember when u banged some random dude twice in the back restaurant room of the bar i work at with customers still there? and woke up with an enormous highschool-sized hickey this morning? no big deal.
i think i'm in class. and blacked out.
The guy in front of me in line at Starbucks looks kinda like Danica Patrick except he has a huge boner.
Skinny jeans should not be made in size 14. Then, it's just a lie.
It's a big world.....someone has to fuck it.
I just watched a guy pee from a second floor window onto the line of 100 people waiting to get in.
when she first told me she hooked up with him my initial response was to shout "WE HAVE SOMETHING IN COMMON!"
hey dude come in here and see how much of my beard i can put in my mouth!
I understand that just don't try to seduce me while making frozen pizza again.
Neither a grow-er nor a show-er. More like a no-er. If he didn't have testicles, I'm not sure you could tell he was a male, even standing there naked. There will be no second date.
Btw I have come to the conclusion that we really need to do it in a bed. Like at least once..
I think I'm pregnant again.
or as we call it, thursday.
IT'S LIKE LOOKING INTO GOD'S VAGINA!!!!
Once you find out someone has a small dick, you never look at them the same again.
I think I may have gotten way too used to using my boobs as an extra hand/pocket...almost stabbed myself in the chin bc I forgot I put my fork there
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