Look at my ENTIRE past
Highly public sexual behavior gross mismanagement of funds socially unaccpetable and radical speech and thought
Might as well have a blog about it at this point
The producers of Marley and Me owe me about $5 million. That's the dollar amount of embarrassment compensation required for making a 24-year-old male cry publicly on an airplane while sitting in the middle seat between a gorgeous babe and a guy with a do-rag
she was puking into the toilet drowning herself saying "its okay im a swimmer"
It was only 12:11 and I needed to make a Pepto Latte and call it a night, I don't remember that being part of my new years resolution.
I swear I only do things like fuck 19 yr olds just to hear how you laugh when I tell you.
We made a trail of cheez balls so we knew how to get back to te apartment.
i'm about to tell me dad "sorry staying in isnt an option. i'm fucking a marine tonight."
She tried to sleep on the front steps of her salon so she wouldn't be late for work and these people put her in a cab to my house. She is nothing if not responsible. Can u imagine her boss finding her there this morning?
Employee of the year! :)
This is one of those moments when you do what I say or I come stalk you down like a gazelle.
I got home and laid by the toilet and then alexa laid in the bathtub and sang the preamble while kayla held my hair
Directions to your booty call: go down the part of Route 66 that has all the car dealerships, motels and bad decisions, go past the Christian college and turn left at the Children's Center.
He wants to tie me naked and spread out on his table, press a vibrator to my clit and feed me ice cream.
That is my stoner wet dream!
He took a picture of me to show his boss why he was late...Is that a compliment or not?
Should I take a fireball shot or brush my teeth?
I have 2 phone numbers written on my vagina. I told you I shouldnt be left to my own devices after tequila shots.
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