My milkshake brings 85 to 90 percent of the boys to the yard
no, he came in my armpit
as if moving home wasnt embarassing enough, mom picked up my laundry while i was gone. guess who needs to find a new hiding spot for his cum towel..this guy.
Dude turns out her best friend is lesbian...there is no wingman for this situation
Check Facebook. Random dude tagged us in photos from last night dancing at Denny's while eating a sampler platter. 1. How does he have our names, and 2. You said we ate at Tbell.
Thank god Shes going home for winter break, gives my dick a chance to recover from those "bjs." Youd think a senior could suck a dick by now.
I've reached the point in my life where I desire cats more than men
Do you know how to give stiches?
I do not...this text concerns me
can we just pause for one second and address the fact that balls were out last night
You should photoshop their heads on tigers first!!
For my parents' annivery card? How high are you?
I really wanted to suck your dick, but I also didn't want to miss any of the movie
I'm imagining a seal in an ugly shirt hahahahaha Percocet
I thought this guy walking back to the dorms with his black laundry bag was walking a black flamingo I'm not even kidding I had to take a break on a bench after that.
You're my favorite person
I just sent Brandon a snapchat where I wasn't wearing a shirt but had a rooster drawn on my boobs that said "cock block" and laughed for 10 minutes I have problems don't judge me
Is this the point in which we come to terms with our lesbianism or is that after you send me more ass pics...
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