U r making out with a 12 year old get ur shit together
just won the tropical speedo for $11. i didn't know they sold pussy magnets that cheap
i may not always bang 16 year olds but when i do, i prefer hot ones
Yeah. I hotboxed a windbreaker.
Yeah, you spent an hour in front of the mirror trying to reenact the Sailor Moon theme song.
you know something has gone wrong in your life when you've gotten a court order to stay away from ALL mc donalds.
she's my drunk super hero.
She just stuck her hand down the strippers pants. Shit just got real.
pouring popcorn down my shirt before we went to the bar was the best idea ever. it was delicious and convenient.
You proceeded to get into a playground school bus and yell "all aboard to Margaritaville!"
Nothing says male bonding like watching porn with your grandpa
i had an epiphany while laying on the driveway for 5 hours yesterday.
i realized i waste a lot of time
Came home to my roommate drinking a 40 in the shower. Chugging with his hair still fully shampoo'd.
I'm really ok with inappropriate relationships. They are my favorite of all the relationships. No need to be timid. For crying out loud.
He lives in a tent in my ex'd backyard. Why the fuck would you want any of that dirty dick?
I flashed my boobs, shit my pants, and kissed the wrong twin. I'm on a roll you don't want in on.
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