New drinking game: drink every time the guy whose room we are in is creepy
enjoy the hospital
i overslept, had to take a cab to the train station, might puke, bought the wrong flavored vitamin water, and mj's dead. what a terrible world to wake up to.
i can smell the iron from margo's period blood from across the table.
Don't worry about later. I already pre-ordered a pizza for a 1:45 delivery and told them to ignore any calls from your number.
You're getting good at this, you know that?
tequila makes her clothes fall off
wow Mom, sounds like youre having a good time
Hey cutie is the game almost over? I'm making dinner for us it'll be ready soon. Xox
You would rather make fucking dinner than watch a hockey game that rivals the epic-ness of miracle, the one of the biggest upsets in sport history? Babe I don't know if I can date a girl with such terrible priorities.
We had sex in the woods. It was great until some bird started mimicking my orgasm sounds
THAT stays in the CAR. And if one fucking person who was NOT in the car brings it up, I will KILL you. Thank you.
..So we should take it off Youtube?
i made potato chips in weed oil. what did you do today?
studying for my Anatomy final and masturbating to Japanese porn are practically the same thing
I wonder what acid is like for a blind person... Can we find this out?
The cab driver is now flexing at a red light...
You were laying in a hotel bed drinking beer from a straw while you demanded everyone to kiss your foot tattoo.
The date went significantly better after the fifth shot of fireball.
Nobody cheats on THIS.
Randomize
