and that's why we call him explosion in my pants. no one remembers his real name.
worst. lesbian. ever. i'm not sure she knows a clit from a pencil eraser.
There's trophy wives that arent even in the 5th grade yet
Either he masturbated at the end of the bed or she gave him a bj. Either way my bed was shaking and I was uninvolved.
I feel I need to conquer him. He's six ft eight and 265lbs. Its like the mount Everest of sex.
You sucked the drug dealers dick for a 20 of coke...?
Nooo, I payed for that. I sucked his dick because I had an urge.
I'm already mentally preparing myself for the fact that I'll probably be sleeping next to a toilet.
So roofie roulette was a success but I'm a little worried that the 2 who got the tainted beer still haven't contacted anyone...
I walked into the kitchen and twelve of them were just staring at the oven. Freshmen are the weirdest drunks ever.
It just wouldn't be valentines day if i didn't invite 90% of the guys i've slept with to go to the strip club with me
Roommate is hosting a 'sorority retreat' at our house. If you need to get laid, stumble on over.
i wore a power symbol belly button ring just so i can drunkenly tell him that he turns me on. i dont care if it works i think its classy
Stop sending me pictures of you naked. This violates the friend zone agreement.
Heat not working dressed like an eskimo. A real one with a ski sock on my junk
No I kepy moaning and just called out a name to make them believe I was actually having sex instead of masturbating.
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