He just did a 33 second keg stand with a fractured leg, busted chin and chipped teeth from running into a parked car after winning a race.
beyond obliterated. i recall legitimately trying to use a ballpoint pen as eyeliner.
I have no valid justification for peeing in your kitchen, but I don't think it's worth breaking up over.
it's a gatorade, cheez its, and regret kind of morning....
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Last time I stayed at my moms my fucking car got set on fire sooo maybe I should think this through.
So. Much. Sex. I feel like i ran a marathon then someone kicked me in the vagina. Soo worth it
She is ok w me having sex for money. Just gotta find rich grandmas.
My Saturday dick is so much more impressive than my Tuesday dick.
which guy lost his keys in my bed this weekend?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Let's go dancing. I wanna sprain an ankle. And a labia. My labia or yours. I'm not picky.
so apparently last weekend we taught the mascot how to shotgun beers. am i winning college yet?
My entire news feed is ice bucket challenges. I wish there was a hide from feed button like FarmVille
Just had to stop myself from doing a bump on the Disney bus. The struggle is real.
sarah's view on last night: a threesome to make things less awkward. oh, well done.
What are you doing tomorrow?
Dude its my bday. Im drinking from sunup til face down. Rinse and repeat.
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