I bet when she looks at herself in the mirror she wishes brown paper bags were in fashion.
A little girl and i are having a face making battle in mcdonalds
She started it, but I totally finished it.
guess who just trotted in eating her oats and wagging her penis
finally nailed that neighbor chick. hopefully i can get her wireless password now. free internet trumps moral standards any day
im shaking like a drug addict and i almost just shat my pants when i sneezed...no more patron for me
I just gift wrapped bread.
i'm in workout clothes. this is progress.
you're acting like its my fault you're allergic to sperm or something.
i told you we never speak of that again
This girl can open a bottle without using her hands and she's 21. She meets my standards
As far as drugs go, alcohol has all the elegance and precision of hitting yourself in the head with a hammer.
I feel like a pizza delivery girl of vagina tho
I just bought us acid. I'm like the drug tooth fairy. Get ready to wake up with a sweattart of acid under your pillow.
I STILL HAVE A HARD TIME DECIDING WHAT TO WEAR IN THE MORNING HOW WOULD IT BE POSSIBLE FOR ME TO PICK A PAIR OF PANTS AND GO OH ILL JUST WEAR THESE FOR THE REST OF MY LIFE
Some nice lady just gave me a beer out of her purse. I love youth hockey
I'll pay you back with progressively deviant sexual favors.
Randomize
