Y'know, without the cops, it would've just been us daydrinking,
hey, this is the drunk ass freshman from last night. thanks alot for helping me out last night, i'd probably be on some lawn if it wasn't for you guys! and my mom says thanks for talking to her
the only thing coherent you said from what i saw of you is when you were throwing up, i asked if you were done and you just "uh huh you know what it is"
You know its a good sign when a girl asks who everyone is AFTER she flashes her tits to the room.
So I woke up in a strange bed with a note taped to my arm giving me directions back to my brothers apartment.
You're married and I'm going to make out with a stranger tonight. Isn't that weird? It's like a gap in the time space continium.
I might as well rub my vagina against it before I throw it away.
Guess who just got caught by mall security having sex in a car in the parking lot... at noon. This chick.
I have come to the conclusion that my perfect boyfriend is a cardboard cutout of Link with a dildo attatched. Also, Merry Christmas.
You suck at answering, but you did manage to avoid a fun conversation about hemorrhoids. So maybe you're great at answering.
are you putting in a lot of effort today like appearance wise
I am taking my rightful place as emperor of the undead appearance wise
The ONLY reason I am doing laundry is because all my sweatpants are dirty.
Well statistically J has a 1 in 3 chance of hospitalization when downtown
And a 3 for 3 for disapeearing
just so you know they found you begging for money at the L station. What the fuck did you drink last night?
I'm going to target high, just in case I ask you where my paycheck went later
Randomize
