First thing she said after sex was.. are you baptised by chance?
This is your typical "sorry i got drunk and tried to seduce you into having sex while you were throwing up" text.
and when i put it inside her she yelled "welcome aboard!"
beer pong: waldo and ernie vs. bacon and eggs... i love halloween
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I woke up and we were making out. So the good news is that after two years off the market, I haven't lost a step. I'm picking up girls in my sleep now.
I think I suffocated him while I was riding his face
i woke up to banging and pieces of ceiling falling on my face
Besides the flaccid incident, it was decent. Average sized. So this is my life now. Loneliness and lackluster sex.
We call it "Dishes: Hard Mode". Basically whoever is doing dishes gets head but needs to finish the dishes before they cum.
And so far nothing been broken!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I will be there. invited or not. I go where the pancakes go.
I just baby talked my cat. While getting ready for bed... Before 10 on a Friday. I'm officially a cat lady.
id like to think im the only pot dealing prostitute that is also an ordained minister. but maybe not. what a time to be alive
I got a charlie horse in my ass while masturbating. We are never been going to that boot camp again.
Ur dad just showed me a tit pic he got omf
Well you went to the bar with your crutches last night & everyone including the DJ started chanting "put your crutches in the air"
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