I would wrestle an alligator for a bj right now
ya ever know whats down there. always send some fingers in first to scout the situation. fingers are not used for pleasure. they're used for covert missions.
I glued a penny on the door Tricia believes its Patrick Swayze haunting our apartment. Fuckin potheads.
just saw a girl throwing up in a taco bell nacho cantainor going 60 down the highway
dude there's automatic no homos on brad Pitt and Leonardo dicaprio. Everyone knows that
please come upstairs a drunk asian is lying down n the middle of my room and i don't know him
Of course i made out w him. He was painted green. You know of my secret longing for the Hulk.
I woke up naked with my work shoes on
No. I'm sorry but once your "would go gay for" list exceeds five people, you're bi. Get over it.
Apparently this establishment won't let you rent a sailboat if you have been drinking rum all morning
Like, bro, how do you think I got the idea to go sailing
I'm on the fast track to lesbian land
This is bullshit, I shit my pants for the 1st time in 30 years, stuck on the 405, fuck this shit.
Depends
Woke up in my boxers on a subway with a phone number written on my arm in lipstick..Best Night EVER.
Do you think telling guys I'm majoring in magic is a good pickup line?
My feet surprised me
Randomize
