I tried ok? my penis just doesnt like her as much as my mother does
I'm pretty sure I saw a man standing on a table with no shirt on getting sugar thrown at him while "pour some sugar on me" blaring while the cops were in the house.
creepy tank top guy is at campus health. he's hitting on a girl recovering from a panic attack.
i woke up to the sound of my dad getting blown. this is my life
Trying to guess which perfume the stripper was wearing based on my bf's clothes
You'd think if the campus holds 28,000 undergrad I wouldn't run into three people I've hooked up with in one day
Water park on acid. THIS NEEDS TO HAPPEN!!
I JUST MADE OUT WITH A BRITISH SOCCER PLAYER. LONG LIVE THE QUEEN. GOD BLESS THAT COUNTRY.
I thought I was pretty much sober now but then I realized I've been eating scrambled eggs with my hands...
bartering with my concussed boyfriend to eat food with blowjobs
After the clumsiest day of my life I think it's safe to say my dream of being a ninja is dead. Memorial service with a glass of wine at 8pm
There's mini weenies and empanadas everywhere...
I got to my internship late... with a bag of chipotle and sex hair.
He said his name was Tony, after last night I will refer to him as Tiny
I cannot believe I accepted his penis into my body.
Randomize
