So, when he came he screamed MORTAL KOMBAT!!!! at the top of his lungs and all of his roomates yelled back FINISH HER!!!!.....yeah kinda akward
she asked me if i can do her a favor, came over, and gave me head then left. i still dont understand how that was a favor for her.
All you have to drink is moonshine and ranch. This is bullshit.
I miss you more than I would miss junk food if I went on a diet. And you've seen me eat, you know how desperate I'd be.
Apparently after awhile self preservation trumps libido. This is new news to me.
Yeah. Just jump him. Naked. Claim his dick for yourself.
drunk grocery shopping was not as bad of an idea as i thought, this salmon cat food tastes a lot like tuna
I think a girl on my floor is watching zombie porn. There is literally no other description for the noise coming from her room.
Nope. Flying out tonight. Staying with my great aunt who is an ex nun turned hostel owner. Best and likely most dangerous St. Patty's Day to commence in 10 hours. IRELAND!
Be safe. And I hate you.
I lost a whole day of my life. Apparemtly I was using my deodrant as a phone. And is my phone there?
Had a dream I cut my own dick off. That's it I gotta see a doctor...
Umm
Exactly.
I'll pass on that plan. The lack of my penis in new vaginas is no where on the itinerary.
My TA is here with a sombrero and an entire bottle of Svedka. Skip jury duty.
...and now I welcome the sweet embrace of death.
The end of the friendship was inevitable. I hooked up with her cousin and forgot to mention it to her
Randomize
