Please forgive me. I will pay for your emergency room visit.
Nothing commands respect in a meeting like Jack Daniels on the breath. You're fine.
She made the grapes disappear! ALL OF THEM!!!
I can no longer count the number of girls I've banged on my fingers and toes. It's like being born again.
Just got physical proof that at 6 am i was running around with raw potatoes threatening to mash them on his floor. Hello, Mobile uploads
I'm going to look like a jackass in the Mexican newspaper tomorrow.
I want to apologize but I don't know how. Do I just say "sorry for OD'ing on your couch"? I think that just sounds weird.
Is tonight a drink a little and reminisce kinda night, or a drink everything and pray kinda night?
No, we will not be going out tonight. We are trying to grow the toy donkey in whiskey rather than water. Serious fucking science. Have fun at the boring bar while we Bill Nye it up in this bitch.
Bring gay.
By that I meant the rum. I just realized that my request made no sense. You always bring gay.
I honestly think she should have her own reality show called "Lowering the Bar" and it consists of a camera crew following her from Bar to bar hooking up with unsuspecting drunk attractive men.
are you putting in a lot of effort today like appearance wise
I am taking my rightful place as emperor of the undead appearance wise
Her mom came down to the basement and took shots with us. She's now passed out in a wheel barrow. This party got weird
You took nana to a bar?!
she suggested it
I had to ask my mom to look for my kegle ball...
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