I will come over but only if I don't have to take my sunglasses off for it
I probably wouldn't hook up with him if I had to deal with more than his penis. i think cumulatively we are up to a minute of actual conversation this week.
it would be nice to just get drunk, not hook up with anyone, and not die this weekend
Two penises later: I might be straighter than I think.
I think a 5 ft pyramid of jello shots in honor of the egyptians is in order
Woke up with the note 'going outside. Ignore bloody spoon. Be back soon' taped to my forehead. Know anything about it?
I'm trying to think of how to explain to the dentist tomorrow that I think I pulled my jaw muscle eating pizza while drunk.
They got a 10 foot tall beach ball from the roof of a McDonalds. Get the fuck over here.
One of us will probably end up wearing nothing but glow/ neon body paint and a pair of water wings...
And I am in no way ashamed to say that it will most likely be me. I'm hoping for it actually.
You don't know reunion panic until you've exfoliated your butt cheeks.
I think we need to stage a munchie intervention for Ben. I just watched him use a tortilla as a potholder to dump water out of his ramen.
Last night apparently I said "I need a break" and then I just passed the fuck out for 3 hours
You're officially the most high maintenance man I've ever had inside me.
we turned the lights off and all you could see were my glow in the dark stars and his penis
First contact since we had sex and it's to get my HBO password. I sure pick winners huh
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