You were asking people if they could pee on you while you shotgunned beers
How are you going to pay for strippers in Vegas when you were just begging for McDoubles?
I would like to apologize for making you the target of my "I wish head hair grew as fast as Pubes speech" the other night
Just got a free shot w my beer...it's not quite 11am yet...I love international travel. These people aren't judgmental.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It's that "make a Pringle and Twinkie sandwich" kind of depression.
Come on. I'll make you hot pockets. Literally and sexually.
Our innocent game of 'Duck, duck, booze.' ended up not being so innocent
...if you're living vicariously thought me, that was a great blow job you just gave in the B&N parking lot.
I'm just learned what a rim job is, I feel like crying
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So the guy I hooked up with during welcome week just tried to booty call me from across the lecture hall at 9am. I don't think he gets how this works...
I just said give me penis or give me death. Some patriot is rolling around in his grave right now.
I don't know. I wanna do you but I also want a cheeseburger.
I want to sit on top of her nipple mountains and reenact the Ricola commercial.
I literally forgot every French word I knew and blurted out “mange moi” so he went down on me like I was some baguette fresh outta the oven!!!! I passed out.
Of course his biggest mistake was assuming that I ever gave a fuck to begin with.
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