I just saw a neon sign in a bar window that says, "open to Public" but the L is burnt out.
watching elf naked is so much better than watching it with clothes on .
No... We were arguing over whose family is more dysfunctional... Then my brother stumbled in and puked all over jakes ugly dog.
She put up a picture of her grandmother on facebook, looks like the lazy eye runs in the family
Just had to return the shit I stole from the dining hall, with everyone watching...apparently there ARE consequences for being drunk, coked up and belligerent.
I think I may be stoned foreverrrrrrrrr. The earth has been around for a long time.
despite the cops showing up at 8am, pre gaming groundhog day was my idea yet. and by pre gaming, i of course mean getting black out drunk by 7:30am
You were sitting in the middle of the floor spewing vodka at people proclaiming "I a whale". That drunk.
Someone just got pizza delivered to the liquor store.
You know, you have a good excuse now if you have a poor performance. Just say "what do you expect? I took a paintball to the DICK!!"
But in fairness, I would totally have a robo-penis as long as it had full sensation.
Banged former boss. Adulthood achievement unlocked.
Think of it as a business transaction. That's how I justify all the horrible things I do. Blow my married boss? Just a business transaction.
i told you i was taking the Metra Train, and you asked what type of drug that was.. so yes i believe you when you say you were fucked up
I don't know, all I remember is waking up at 4 in the morning to him going down on me.
Randomize
