I dont know why I dont listen to you more often. He wont stop texting me. And his signature is "dancing with no panties on"
ill find time for any girl whos not afraid to grab my junk in front of 100 people
Sitting on the floor in my kitchen eating taquitos. Being this drunk the next day has lost its allure post graduation.
Another one? Damn, how many David's is that?
six.
Oh, I thought it was higher.
No, that would be the Matt's
on the brightside, the semester can only get better from getting a dui at 8 am on the first day.
your optimism is becoming unhealthy
I think I might stay on campus instead of going home for thanksgiving and see how many townies I can hook up with and no one will be around to judge
You walked in on me taking a shit and told me to hit the bong
And then as he was trying to conceal his boner from everybody, you said aloud "just grab your cock and get out of the pool"
This is the fourth day in a row I've walked outside in the same pajamas. I think the neighbors have finally given up on judging me.
Is there a polite way to say "Sorry for your head injury but I still want to hook up"?
So glad the long weekend is over so I can bring this bender to a merciful end.
Me too...I'm driving to work trying to figure out if I put my pants on the right way.
I cant believe you bit her ass cheek, she must have been really weirded out.
yeah so we made out to make it less awkward
Just puked most of my soul out..
Don't come in. My door to my bathroom won't close because of the table and I'm pooping
Classy
Randomize
