I can't believe you let me try to pierce your nipple with a dart last night
Is it bad that everytime I read or hear "Woo Hoo" I immediately think of sex because of The Sims?
what do 4 police cars, 1 ambulence, and 2 fire truycks have in common?.... My driveway
You sprayed lemon pledge on your crotch because it was "dusty"
I drunkenly sent a picture of my scrotum to the entire baseball team last night
so how was last night?
got high and had our usual talk about the definition of cole slaw. then tried to call the ramen noodle company and convince them why my face should be on thier packages.
oh i have no idea about his personality. i imagine it's the same as it was- except now combined with a receding hairline and a beer gut
I've just never had a dinner guest strut in, go directly to my bathroom, vomit.. then come out demanding whiskey and food.
It's like the god of all feather dusters, but for your vagina
It really is the softest mustache
He's just so adorable. And I don't want to fuck someone who's adorable.
do you want me to tag you in the pics from the party?
Hmm. Use your judgment. Bootlicking pics are probably not ok. Otherwise fine.
Cuz I feel like I ate the whole candy isle at 7/11 last night and chased it with rum
You pretty much did tho
I immediately retract my statement involving hylecopters being allowed to blow up sharks out of the water.... The idea if it is super incredible but ultimately it would be cruel and unessesary
My boobs just got me out of my third ticket last night
i'm so proud. i woke up to nearly seven feet of basketball player in my bed this morning
you win. again.
We had everything under control until this one jackass fucked up. Thanks, Peter.
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