I don't know what happened last night but I woke up this morning with "wolf pack" tattooed on my knuckles.
She said "I only hook up with guys I'm dating"
So... What happend then?
We dated for an hour, i broke up with her after. BOOM.
So many stories. To uyou are sober. I heart you though. Jesus. Dirrty dancing jusyt came oine!!no. Lie.
I was really disturbed by what initially appeared to be a dismembered head sitting beside you. Then I realized you were laying on her body.
Should I feel guilty that my husband is cheating on his girlfriend with me? I mean, we're not divorced yet so I still have dibs, right?
My cab driver has a hooker in the front seat. Really, this is serious. And weird.
Seriously your house is like the underground railroad for unwanted gay kids
I most definitely just found a video on my phone that I accidentally took... You can't see anything and all you can hear is me talking about how good your water was... And then I fed it to you... And used the word "eloquent" to describe it.
I want Samuel L. Jackson to stand beside me and narrate my morning shits.
It's Christmas, you should know what a virgin is.
I just haymakered a dude with my face, can we talk about ME for a second and not the guy I fought?
Sorry I sent you a video of a singing reverend last night, I was really high.
I'm a great relationship counselor. My vagina will let you know if your relationship is gonna work or not.
I came so hard I literally levitated off the top of his dick. Gravity was no match for that orgasm!
I'm fucking my way through California and it's kind of fun.
Randomize
