I painted my nails silver
And what are the implications of that?
Is there supposed to be a msg in that? Just thought ud like to know it looks like I fingerbanged an alien
my "about me" section on Facebook should read "hell-bound alcoholic who wants to fuck a 40-year-old crackhead"
.....so he has a son. Josh. That is not his roommate
If it was for sex do you really think i would asking for a mass vote? I'm like fidel castro when it comes to sex. No public approval needed.
i just recognized the girl sitting across from me from a lesbian porno... should i ask for an autograph?
I heard that if you win you get to have sex with me. You guys really need to stop wagering my vagina.
I just blew my nose and little bits of weed came out.
I puked all over his apartment, then slept with the skinniest girl here. Which isn't saying much in Ohio.
How many times can I tell him that I wasn't expecting sex before he finally figures out that I'm just too lazy to shave?
The last thing I remember is feeding country fried steak to my best friend in a bubble bath with my bare hands.
Just got that "I know what's going on with your vagina" look from that CVS cashier.
You bought MORE?!
oh god my hair smells like rotten vegetables, sweat, and tequila. I wanna party with your neighbors every night.
Fuck my life, there's a fry in my vagina.
I need to pay that drinking in public ticket, but I also really want to get a spray tan next week... so priorities.
Need a Dr's note to excuse me from blowjobs for 3-6 weeks while my jaw heals..
Randomize
