What do they do with the elephants that die at the zoo
Cremation, why do you ask?
I think we have a bit of a problem
God is so good, I would give him a blow job right now.
I need to stop taking drags of other peoples cigarettes, it's such a tease. Like playing just the tip, you just can't
is cock-oriented a word? I'd say I'm that lately.
Drunkkker than when I told the drag queen she was prettier than me
Glow parties are what I live for
Your priorities in life astound me
I think we should go through the tsa checkpoint with raging hardons when we go through LAX. I think we should pass out some viagra to everyone
In the middle of blowing him I looked at him and said "Your so old..." and then continued. I need to stop drinking.
I just tried to order ice cream on my bagel. I think I should just call it
Hey, YOU try working out drunk every night! Besides, I think at least one of those bruises is a hickey.
Today one of my patients offered me pot brownies. Medical school worth it. Living the dream.
They had like literally all the dildos. It looked like a seance for dick. I left the apartment and haven't been back.
I'm not drinking for the rest of the week. I need discipline, celery, dick, and a bible.
If you're gonna show up unannounced on hangover day, you better have coffee doughnuts and a boner
What is the best medium with which to say, "Happy Birthday, I'm having your abortion"... Cake? Card?
Randomize
