Dont worry, she is sitting right next to me. She is making it clear she wants to scissor
i called my brother from the living room and paid him a dollar to turn off the light in my room. ive hit rock bottom
I couldn't sleep so I drunk ellipticaled for an hour. Worst. Idea. Ever.
You fuck like a mechanic. That is the universe telling you that is your true calling. Take this as a sign.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
That's right. If she can't abide by the rules then she gets booted. It's like survivor booty call edition
you were leaning up against the wall pulling your shirt up asking girls to dance on you. your courage to do that is both admirable and frightening.
Shotgunning beers to finish a midterm project at 3am is a good idea right?
I'm just going to have crazy good sex with him until one of us developed feelings that works in the movies right?
Me and some girl at the bar just high fived for not wearing bras
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
And I wasn't CONVICTED of a felony, I just committed one
There's always a silver lining when massive voluptuous tits are involved
Suffice to say, I think if people ask about your bruises, and you look them right in the eye, and say "they're from fucking...", people would be like, "respect."
And he's back on taking these stupid testosterone supplements to kickstart him back into working out. And they just make him angry and horny all the time. I'm like great, just in time to meet my whole family for Christmas.
Dude, I'm telling you, date younger. He brought pizza, made me squirt twice, and then left to immediately go to brunch with his mom.
We smell like vodka and hangover
Randomize