Lets date for the summer
what?
Dont love me in September.
i woke up this morning to a slap on the ass and jake saying "you should let me put it in your ass now" i need out of this relationship.
for sure. did you let him do it?
thats not the point.
my roommate left her license, credit card, and cellphone on her desk. I feel like this is a trap.
Why am I drunk on a roof painting at 11 in the morning
Just had sex with a girl from Italy. The only english she knew was Obama campaign slogans. Her screaming, "Yes we can!" as I was railing her not only turned me on but allowed my neighbors to know it was consentual.
Cumming on a girls face is guy code for you're not wife material.
He is the Donovan McNabb of stuff up his ass. Tell me that tomorrow. Too high to remember.
this is not the time for floating mt dew and shots of tequila.
she was drinking until 3, woke up at 7, shouted 'I'M STILL DRUNK" and went out for a jog in her thong
i would have thought, that you two being my best friends, one of you would have atleast tried to catch me before i hit the ground after blacking out.
I think she's going to be dangerous to drink with, but I'm ready for the adventure.
Oh god iv'e slept with this police officer before oh god oh god
That's the 3rd guy I've made pass out from a bj. I may have super powers.
If he doesn’t slap your ass with his drumsticks, then I don’t wanna hear about it.
Yeah that was post sex. I was thinking in my mind, no wonder he didnt ask me to call him daddy since he actually is a dad
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