i'm in the sorta mood where i wanna be that crying, drunk girl who will hook up with anyone that tells her she's pretty
Sorry you had to hear me puke. I didn't know I called you. Was it graceful?
So im at the gym and some guy has a tattoo of a hand doing the shocker... The douche bag bar has been raised yet again.
FYI you just passed out mid-blow job. Consider this my letter of resignation.
I lost count after the 4th body shot but I think I'm wearing at least 3 different peoples clothes.
you called your neighbor "slutsauce" then passed out on the stairway. not even sure why, but props to you.
I've had to much cheese to give a fuck about anything. im tired.
I want to own their dicks and all the attachments
If we don't have crazy animal sex tonight at least twice, I'll know he's cheating on me.
Who wouldn't want crazy animal sex with you?!
A cheater.
Liquor doesn't fix sad, but it sure as hell lowers my standards for a rebound.
He's ninety percent amazing leader, brother, and teacher, and ten percent unforgivable douche. These are the men I look up to in my life.
In case you're wondering what I'm doing, I'll be banging an 18 year old this weekend. Repeatedly.
You tried paying your tab with the coaster
My memory of last night is a delicious blur of tits, ass, and alcohol.
Being single again makes you realize how guys can go from licking your asshole one night to never texting you again
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