singing on the bus should be illegal
huh?
There's a group of like 8 white people in the back of the bus harmonizing to sugar we're going down
Apparently when he woke up I was tripping my face off. Everytime the cat meowed I would meow back. This went on for several hours.
You put your red cup in a chain link fence and kept telling me you could use it as a telescope
if every girl in minneapolis isn't pregnant when i get back to the cities i will cry
My dad just passed me a joint.. this is a turning point in my life.
It was worth having to clean the cum stains out of the carpet.
I answered the my mom's phone call about what we're doing for father's day while he was still fucking me. She thought I seemed really excited about his hiking boots present.
I'm not going to fuck him in his Honda Fit. That's gay.
she just built a cabin out of hotdogs and cooked it in the microwave.
now she is shaking the plate and mumbling "this is what california must feel like"
Just had a random flashback of you tickling some guy's nipple with your claw ring, and then him moaning and stripping in the middle of the bar. You give good memories.
... I threw up in the shower this morning
You were "I'm not drunk" drunk.
I was feeling sad so bedroom vodka seemed like the best solution at the time.
I was afraid she wouldn't be able keep up but I woke up in a bathtub, she called me a pussy and made me pancakes.
Why isn't there a super hero that comes to the aide of really high kids when they kill their car battery?
That's too much drama for once a month dick... that's in-house dick drama only
He corrected my spelling during sexting.
Randomize
